i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Randomize
