If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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