you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
handjob tips. give me some.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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