Please, let me fuck your mom
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
