med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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