if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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