Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
