what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
