His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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