Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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