How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
