Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
