I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
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