I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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