You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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