so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
