I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
