Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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