Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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