how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
