their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
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Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
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remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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