Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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