i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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