I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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