I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize