Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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