she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
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