i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
