I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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