I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
