I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
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