Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize