We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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