So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
party gras won. party gras always wins.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
