He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
