I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
why do cheetos always look like penises
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
FUCK WHALES
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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