it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize
