So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
