I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
meet me or not, i'm out of control
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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