So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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