in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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