chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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