it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
