I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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