Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
