So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
