My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Randomize
