She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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