yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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