God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
