she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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