he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
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