You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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