just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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