I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
