So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
