so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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