you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
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