Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
