i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
