she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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