dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
