When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
