i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
