Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
