Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
