I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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