I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
